I have had about a month of constant activity and decision.
Now that I have the time to breathe and actually think about it all, I wish I had taken the time to write about it more as it was happening- maybe then I might have felt less befuddled by it all.
I vacationed in Hawaii with two very dear friends and a 15 month old little girl. I went on a week long beach-house vacation with my parents and grandfather. I have adopted a kitten who was previously nicknamed "killer". I have interviewed for and accepted a brand new job, with much strife at the current job and subsequently bought $700 worth of stuffy suits. So I've been busy.
Life is amazing- how it swirls, is it not?
I have felt like I've been in a sort of free-fall None of these major life acts have really been my decision.
And yet, in that there was a sort of comfort. Maybe it was part shock, part excitement. I had been wishing for change for months. I sure got that. gvvbbg (<--- Sorry, that was the new cat.)
Learning to trust yourself, no matter what happens, is quite enthralling.
And now, as I wind down with my current job, have the kitten now dubbed "Weasley" sitting around my throat like an ascot, and reminisce about my vacations, it is empowering to reflect on what has happened in one measly month.
All of those things happen and nothing drove me to write.
Tonight, there was a thunderstorm. A good, old-fashioned knock-out-the-satellite "gully washer" as my mother would say.
I lay here, book in hand, comforting the kitten- it's his first big storm- and counted the seconds between the flashes and the bursts, the light and the noise, the lightning and thunder.
and I was driven.
I hate to use the phrase "in life", but here I feel it only fitting.
In life, like tonight, I have waited, counting the seconds between the cataclysmic bolts and the rolling booms that are sure to follow.
This month has been the lightning. And now, we wait for the fallout.