Friday, December 19, 2008

A Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,
Hello! I'm sure you've been FLOODED with fanmail, but I thought I'd add my letter to the fray, just in case you needed a little guidance on what to bring me. I know how hard it can be to get presents for people who don't even give you a HINT as to what they might want. So, I thought I'd be EXTRA helpful, like always :)

This year, I fear I have a pretty long list, so I know its not all likely to happen.

Here it goes.

- a mac. I know, I know. Pretty expensive, right? But I really need a computer that works so I won't want to DIE every time I make a playlist. And it won't take 2 weeks to update my ipod. AND I even promise I 'll be better about my writing! And I could get another computer, but I feel like I should just save up and get what works best for what I need. Wanna go in halfsies for it?

-The DVD of Sleeping Beauty- although I already asked my parents for it, so make sure you check with them first.

-New perfume. I don't really care what it is , but I've run out and I do like smelling pretty. I typically prefer scents that are unusual, and hopefully not too citrus-y.

-A job overseas. Not sure how much you can do for me on this one, but if you've got ANY connections, let me know and I'll send my resume.

-A new bra, preferably in a funky color.

-A boyfriend. Preferably Edward Cullen or Jack Sparrow. But even if that's not possible, an actual mortal would be just fine. Just someone to waste time with and enjoy one another's company.

Other qualities in this department are listed but not limited to:
  • taller than me
  • intelligent
  • funny
  • curly hair (not required)
  • attracted to me (REQUIRED)
  • man enough to gain my father's respect
  • adventurous spirit
  • must get along with my friends
  • either share or indulge in my interests
  • must not be TOO clingy, but still let me take care of him occasionally, while also returning the favor

so yeah. Santa, if you've been hording all of the ideal men up in your workshop at the North Pole, feel free to deliver them this year.

I've been good all year, for the most part, (and as you're always watching- you know the parts where I was slightly naughty, but I think we've already had that discussion.)

Please take care of all the elves, and tell Mrs. Clause I say hello!

Merry Christmas,


P. S. As a note, this is meant to be in addition to all of the standard wishes for peace in the Middle East, a cure for cancer, and a pony.


K said...

Dear Santa:

As a dear friend of aforementioned Poof, I just want to confirm that she has indeed been a VERY good girl this year, and give you my vouch of support for her requests, along with supporting arguments.

- She does indeed need to write more, as she has talent she's not using and she's hilarious and we want to see more writing/funny stuff out of her. *HINT* *HINT*

- I don't know about this sleeping beauty thing. Maybe she's referring to Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty S/M Erotica series? Or just the cartoons. I'll leave that between you two to figure out.

- Smelling pretty is indeed high on her list of priorities, and when my friends smell pretty, we are all happier people. So this would be like a community gift. It takes a village to make a friend smell good. Or something.

- Do not give this girl a job overseas. Purely selfish, but no. I'll make a list of things she's done bad, but we'll start with International Make Bad Decisions With Your Life Day. Kthx.

- Bra's are handy. Especially when you're Poof. Hehe.

- The boyfriend must meet exacting (read: friend-approved) standards. I'm thinking about a vetting process, or how about a Boyfreind Olympics? Either way, I understand that in order to find a good man around here it may take awhile, but please look hard and under all rocks and crevices, as our Poof deserves the best.

Also, she doesn't have any room for a pony, so you can just drop that gift off with me. Palomino, please!

K said... did that whole "write more" request from Santa work out, Miss I Don't Update My Posts Save For Once A Month?