A glimpse behind the veil

A conversation between @monkeyskunk *my bff* and I:

Monkeyskunk: The last one we saw was where the guy got stabbed in the heart with a joustinstick
whateverthefuck those are called

me: joustinstick = new angterm
fuck
new WANGterm
also: lance.

Monkeyskunk: I knew what you meant
oh yea
like scoopies

me: WANNNNNNNGJOKE
like scoopies
this would be utter jibberish to anyone but us
LIFIESH

Monkeyskunk: LIFIESH!

Also, (seemingly unrelated,) Game of Thrones is Awesome, Amirite?

Pirates of the Carribbean 4 *thud*

ok, so I get to go to an early screening.
Tonight.

And I'm losing my shit. See, every Pirates movie has come out on my birthday weekend, Memorial Day weekend, (the ONLY positive of a memdayweekend birthday,) and we all go in a group and see it. Usually with dinner. And home made tshirts. And probably a hat or two.

But this year, it snuck up on me and I'm FREAKING OUT.

I need more time!

And don't get me wrong, I was jealous as a eunuch at a chippendale's show that a friend of mine has ALREADY seen the film, (bitch.)

And yet, I feel like I didn't get to geek out about it enough! Sure, I followed Jerry Bruckheimer and the promotional account on Twitter. Yes, I watched all of the materials I could get my hands on ahead of time. Of course I talked myself out of getting gold caps on my teeth so I could be more like The Johnny.

But its too soon. This is in all likelihood the LAST new pirates movie! And I've fallen for it before! After "At World's End" I grieved like I needed to. Sure, I've carried the pain with me since, but damn it, I was functional.

And now, this?

Another taste? This is giving Black Tar Heroine to a recovering alcoholic.

I know I'm going to spiral.

I'll be tempted to stop showering.
And wear boots, even when its hot out.
Don't get me STARTED on my casual vocabulary.

I think the worst part of all will be the new daydreams. My mind hasn't left this universe that's part historical, part beach-bar, and part myth and lore. And now, this fourth installment will only add more fuel to the fire.

You know what, that's fine Capt Jack Sparrow.
Take me.
Take all of me.
Your longing for adventure and hapless ability to pull anything off, especially when you don't deserve it has me charmed.
And you're hooks-down the sexiest character in fiction.

I'm enlisting.
Leftenant Dempsey, of the Black Pearl, reporting for duty.

Weigh Anchor, lads, we're off.

An Open Letter

To "Him"*,

I've been looking for you for a while, so I thought I'd let you know what I'm thinking- a hint I'll put out into the universe. I'm too embarrassed to tell you, unless I'm shitfaced, then I tell too much.

I like you. I do. I'm attracted to you physically, but I also really want to spend time with you. We enjoy the time we do spend together, I just think adding some sex and some quality time would make it even better. We are already friends, so its not a stretch to see us lay on the next layer. A Parfait of awesome, if you will. We have the crunchy granola crap, and the sweetness of the fruity times, now we just need to fill in the space with something a little more, open affection ought to do the trick.

You're taller than me, so you'd pass the "I could feel small in your arms" test. Superficial, perhaps, but something I really like about you. And your energy, I relate to it. My only true requirement is that "he" can keep up, and baby, you've got it- no small feat. And I feel like we could have a rhythm, you know? A way to go out with a group of our friends and have an awesome time, or lay in my bed listening to standards for a whole Sunday, even if its nice out. Because we both love to do these things and the range in between them. And I think they would be even nicer to do together.

So I'm here. I know I'm in your friend zone right now. I'm safe, and a little bit crass, but I won't be here forever. Take courage. Ask me. I know what I've got going on over here, and I can tell you, I'm worth it.

Love,

~Maggie

*note- "Him" could be any one of several guys at this interval. 5 to be specific. I'm just putting a little nudge out into the world to encourage them. Fingers crossed it works for one of them.

Is it?

Is it you?

Am I just supposed to look at you and know?

Or is it an obvious truth that will just slowly seep into my surroundings, so smoothly that I don't even see the change.

a ship drifting in from the horizon that's to the shore before you even notice it.

Is it you? Do I just have to bide my time? Or you over here, are you even interested? I wish I could ask.

Are you even aware I'm alive in the plaid shirt? No? I thought not.

Moving on.

Now... could it be you?

hmmmm....

Damn I hope I'm not too dense or mistrusting to see you when you're right in front of me.

*squinting*

Grating Expectations

So which is it.

Is the universe designed for cynicism, or optimism?

Both messages are shoved down our throats; opposites.

We are, all of us, alone.

All you need is love.

No one else can make you happy.

Love is the answer.

Depend only on yourself for happiness.

Have faith in your dreams, and someday your rainbow will come shining through.

bullshit.

Which is it?

This talking out of both sides of your mouth shit is getting tiring.

If I’m supposed to stop hoping, that’s just fine.

Just tell me now so I can cut my expectations to a minimum.

Expectations management.

There’s a romantic concept.

Become self-reliant, self-contained, self-tanned.

Don’t need anyone else.

Become an island.

Everyman is an island.

Everywoman is bottle floating around in the ocean, hoping to wash up on some lucky island’s deserted beach.

a desperate bottle full of a message no one will read the way it was written.

Do it for YOU, girlfriend. Screw guys.

Just join that gym for yourself.

Take some time.

Get to know yourself.

Focus on you.

They’re all assholes anyways.

All you need is love.

Whatever you put out into the universe is what you’ll get back.

Show your smile every chance you get, you never know who could be falling in love with it.

You’ll only know what it means to be complete when you have a family.

It’ll happen when you’re not looking.

Just stop looking.

It’ll happen when you least expect it.

read: don’t expect it.

So we have to choose the path of pessimism.

We have to pretend we DON’T want it.

It’s really the most masochistic mutation of the virgin/madonna complex.

Just wait patiently.

Wait prettily.

Wait enticingly.

But not knowingly.

Be the unwilling chum next to your own sharkdiving cage.

Dress up for yourself and your girlfriends, but keep that bikini line waxed because you never know when your Prince Harming will stumble into your life, wanting a sandwich, and realize you always keep white bread and light mayo in stock.

Just like he always dreamed of.

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.

The truth of the matter is that this is a lie. No one gets a fairytale. Not even everyone gets the decency of some fucking woodland creatures to braid her hair.

If you pick at the varnish, the fairy godmother starts to sound a bit like your mother who has a few ideas about what you’re doing wrong.

The mice get stuck on the trap-paper before they turn into steeds.

and the final bell in the clock-tower chimes, and all it means is that you’ve overslept your alarm.

Dream’s up.

heh

http://www.barnorama.com/many-faces-of-johnny-depp/

My favorite?
Emo Wolverine.

*sigh*

I love the Depp.

Caving.

Alright guys, I'm doing it.
I'm caving.

Well, again.

Tonight, Mo and I are going to drink champagne, and sign up for okcupid.com.

the dreaded dating scene.... via the interwebs.

This is kind of an extension of our singlehood, adventurous natures, and our unfortunate willingness to do anything for the sake of a good story.

I'll be cataloguing these adventures over at http://okstupidokcupid.blogspot.com/

Feel free to mock us. Or support us.

Or hell, ask us out.

We *probably* won't mock you mercilessly.

probably.